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DBCNews
Broadcast 2
Now top stories with David…
Weather with Daveed…
Sports with Davis…
A few words with Fiddlesticks…
and The Special Guest Corner with Binky the Clown.
Now for the top stories… David: 1. A reporter from
DBC took a survey on crime in L.A and the best response is, "You IDIOT!!!!!
Give me your wallet!!!!! Hey!!!! No pictures!!!!!
Davis: Anybody would do anything for publicity these days.
David: I just happened to have my gun today so lay off!!!
Security System: Red Alert, Red Alert, Security has been breached!!!!
Billy Burnyourhousedown: All right you lousy punks give me all your money!!!!!
David: That’s it I’m pissed off now!!!
(David pulls out his gun and shoots Billy and Billy gets hit with the bullet)
Billy: Aaaghhhh…… am I supposed to die now??
Producer: I don’t care as long as you don’t take my money!!!
David: Hey!!! He’s been holdin’ out on us!!!
Davis: Speak for yourself!! I’m rollin’ in the dough!!!
Binky: Grrrrrr…
Davis: Don’t be growlin’ at me foo’!!!!!!
Willy Burnyourhousedown: Who shot my bro?????
David: Me, you wanna make somethin’ of it??? I just happen to have my
assault rifle so you better get your *** outta here, before I load it!!!!!!
Willy: Well, I brought my grenade launcher for just such an occasion.
David: Well, I just happen to have my tank outback in the parking lot.
Willy (with a nervous look on his face): I’m outta here!!! I’ll
be back!!!
David (muttering): Not if I can help it.
(David gets up and leaves without anybody knowing)
Davis: Ha Ha!!! Nice bluff David… Hey!!?? Where’d he go?!?
(suddenly a sound of a tank started up)
Daveed: What’s that????
Fiddlesticks: The parentheses said a tank started up.
Willy (from outside):
AAAAAAGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SQUISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(a few seconds later David comes in)
David: Well… No more arsonists are going to coming here anymore!!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, well I guess we can go to sports now...
Davis: Now for the sports…1. Yesterday Daveed won the fight against
Fiddlesticks. And that’s about it.
Binky: Now for The Special Guest Corner!!!!! We go behind the scenes of DBC
to see our director………her name's
Natalya………………
(phone rings)
Natalya: Hello… Bobby, Bobby, Bobby what am I going to do with you?…
I can’t believe you did that… No I don’t want to go to bed
with you!!… As a matter of fact I already have a boyfriend… You
do too?? You gay monster!! I should take you out and beat you… you slug
head!!… Good bye Bobby!!!… I don’t care if you have $999,999,999
billion plus tax!!! Wait a minute did you say
$999,999,999 billion plus tax?… OK I’ll stop by tonight.
(she hangs up and phone rings again)
Natalya: Hello… Oh hi Nate!!… Yes I’ll go to bed with you
tomorrow, good bye.
(she hangs up and phone rings again)
Natalya: Hello… yes I’m head of The Prostitute service. Next week??
OK
(she hangs up and the phone rings again)
Natalya: This is 1-800-HONEY, what time should I pick you up? 5:00 is fine,
see you then
(she hangs up)
David: Hey guys, I’m gonna prank call her.
Daveed: You go girl!!!!!
(phone rings)
Natalya: Hello.
David: Hello Natalya this is Bond, James Bond, you know shaken not stirred.
Natalya: James??? I haven’t talked to you since the Goldeneye thing.
How’s everything at Mi6????
David: Oh you know M still thinks I’m a nut who likes fast cars and
women, which I do. Q is bugging me with all these new inventions. Moneypenny
is bugging me so much I had sex with her so she could shutup!!!
Natalya: Good, Good
Daveed: Hey I got a phone too!!! I’ll call her also!
Natalya: Wait a second I got another call… Hello.
Daveed: Bwoinaz Diaz señorita!!!
Natalya: And bees in disease to you too, you Mexican pervert and I’m
tracing this call!!! Hello James… Oh I got another call.
Daveed: Hello Natalya. I am General Akardy Ourmov.
Natalya: Not you!!!
Daveed: Remember what we did in the train a couple years ago??
Natalya: I put that behind me you… you… selfish beast!… Hello
James… God, I got another call!!!
Daveed: I am the Ghost of Christmas Past!!!
Natalya: Good for you!!!… Hello James… Man!!! I got another
freakin’ call!!!
Daveed: Hell…
Natalya: Shutup!!! I’m on the other line can’t you see???
Daveed: No… I’m blind.
Natalya: Shutup!!!!… Hello James. AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! I got
another call!!!!!
Will it ever end James???? Wait a minute!!! Hey!!! That’s my car!!!!
Why are you towing it away?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
David: Natalya?? Oh well.
Daveed: It’s -100 degrees Fahrenheit!!! I can just see Natalya out there
chasing her car!!!!
David: Yeah!!! And that’s all from DBC!!!!
Fiddlesticks: I’m Egyptian!!!
Fiddlesticks: I’M EGYPTIAN
Everybody: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!
Fiddlesticks: OK
David: Now is that it????
Davis: No… we gotta sing the Lamb Chop’s Play Along song now!!!!!
Fiddlesticks: I like lamb chops for lunch!!!!!
Producer: You don’t have to sing it.
David: All right!!!! That’s it from…
Producer: You have to sing the Barney song.
Daveed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
David: That’s it Mr. Producer Man either you give us a raise and for
us not to sing I won’t blow your guts out with my rifle!!!!!!!
Producer: You don’t have to sing it!! You don’t have to sing it!!
And I’ll give you a 50 cent raise.
David: Now that’s better… and that’s it from DBC!!!!!
Finally…
(end)
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