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Broadcasting Company \ Movie: Reggie Time Episode 1
*Reggie walks into the store and sniffs loudly*
Reggie: Ah, smells like shit!
*he walks over to the counter and dusts it off, then rings the bell*
Reggie: Pet Park, open for business!
*a man walks in*
Man: Is this Pet Park?
Reggie: Yes sir!
Man: Thanks, I'll know not to come back to this building.
*he walks out*
Reggie: That sucked.
*he walks over to a snake cage and taps it with his finger*
Reggie: What's up, Snakey?
*cut to stock footage of a giraffe running through a field*
Reggie: Aww..how cute.
*the man walks back in*
Man: I'll take it!
Reggie: Hell yeah, get ready for mush hour!
*he puts on a beanie and starts moonwalking to "Beat It" by Michael Jackson*
Man: Hurry it up, I haven't got all day.
*cut to Reggie and the man standing at the counter, Reggie hands him a baggy*
Reggie: One snakey to go, sir!
*the man takes it*
Man: What fine service! Have a great day.
*they both smile and the man starts to walk away. Reggie pulls out a shotgun
and blows the man's head off, blood and pieces of his skull go everywhere*
Reggie: No one takes Snakey! Time to call it a day.
*a guy walks in*
Reggie: Kitchen's closed.
*he shoots the guy in the face and kicks his head as he falls over. he looks
into the camera*
Reggie: Cleanup on aisle five!
*he smiles as an airhorn sound effect blares. cut to him getting in his car,
as he drives down the street a generic rock tune plays loudly. he finally
gets to his home and skids sideways in the driveway*
Reggie: Home sweet home!
*cut to him walking in and hanging up his hat, he walks over to a computer
and sits down*
Reggie: Time to do some graphic designin'!
*the screen on the computer comes on and a digitized voice can be heard*
Voice: Welcome fag! Where would you like to go?
Reggie: The internet super highway, please, and step on it! Vroom vroom!
*He puts his hands up in front of him as if holding a steering wheel*
Reggie: Eeeeeeeergh! Pit stop! Ha ha.
*An error message pops up on the screen with a loud buzz sound*
Reggie: What the FUCK!?
Computer: I am MONITOR, FEEL MY HORNS!
Reggie: You don't have horns!
*Printer paper streams out of the printer and wraps around his neck*
Reggie: Auugh! Taaaaaaake this!
*He jumps up and side kicks the printer off of the desk, the paper releases*
Reggie: Mess with the best, die like the rest. Bitch.
*He spits on the printer*
Reggie: What am I going to do now??
*Cut to him opening a root beer, it spews all over him for various minutes,
he keeps staring ahead as if nothing is going on, finally the bottle is empty*
Reggie: I'm going for a walk.
*Slide transition to him driving a beat up CRX down the wrong side of the
road, there's loud rap music playing and Reggie is wearing sunglasses*
Reggie: Outta my way, biatch!
*He puts it into fifth gear and speeds down the road. Pan over to a cop on
the side of the road shaking his head, he turns on his siren and starts chasing
Reggie*
Reggie: Son of a bitch!
*He pulls over as well as the policeman and the cop gets out. The cop walks
up to his window and speaks:*
Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Reggie: Probably ten over the dick limit, faggot.
Cop: What!?
Reggie: I said back off nigger, I'm havin' a joint.
Cop: Get out of the car asshole, now!
Reggie: GET OUT OF MY LIFE!
*Reggie spins off and the cop gets into his car, the chase is on. Cut to
Reggie driving*
Reggie: I gotta ditch this pig!
*He drives onto the sidewalk and hits a large group of people, all who fly
in different directions*
Reggie: Class is dismissed, fuckface!
*Cut to an outhouse on the side of the road and zoom into it: there's a man
sitting on the can drinking a cup of Starbucks coffee. Cut back to the cop*
Cop: I got you now!
*Reggie powerslides in the middle of the road and the police car rams the
outhouse, cut to the man inside: he spills his coffee all over himself and
holds his face while he screams loudly. He looks up from his hands to reveal
that his face is now just a skull with eyes, his jaw bone clacks up and down
as he screams in horrible pain. Cut to Reggie who is now driving away from
the crash with his eyes closed*
Reggie: OOOOOH YEAH!
*he opens his eyes and sees that there's a red light ahead with stopped traffic*
Reggie: Shiiiiiiiiiiiit!
*He collides with the stopped truck and flies through the windshield, getting
his head stuck in the back window of the truck*
Reggie: Just take me home!
Man driving: I ain't a taxi!
*The man starts punching him in the face as hard as he can, finally one of
his punches knocks him over the side of the truck. He lands on the hood of
a car*
Reggie: Pit...stop...
*He glances through the windshield: it's the man that wanted to buy Snakey
with his head duct taped back together, he holds the bag up for Reggie to
behold*
Reggie: Oh nooooooo!
*The car squeals off with him still on the hood. Reggie punches through the
windshield and connects with the man's nose*
Man: You broke my nose!
Reggie: No I didn't!
Man: Close enough!
*The man pulls back the antenna and lets go, it flaps up and hits Reggie
in the forehead with a loud thwack sound*
Reggie: Ow!
*Reggie tears out a headlight and smashes it against the man's face, sparks
shoot everywhere*
Man: OH MY GOD MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!
*Reggie grabs Snakey and the car suddenly comes to a stop, throwing Reggie
and Snakey hundreds of feet. Reggie crashes through his door backwards and
lays there for a moment, then gets up with a large moan*
Reggie: I think I pulled my g-string...
*He stumbles over to his computer desk and sits down, then puts the bag with
Snakey to the side*
Computer voice: Welcome fag! Where would you like to go?
Reggie: Solitaire please
*He looks at the camera*
Reggie: And step on it!
*He gives a sly wink and a cartoon-like circle appears around his face with
comical music, finally disappearing into darkness. Roll credits while the
all Spanish version of the Macarena plays*
*After all the credits have rolled the camera cuts to a large drum. Suddenly
Reggie pops through it and hoists out his hand*
Reggie: Ablee bleh bluh able That's all, fags!
the end.
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