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\ How To Be a Squackle Hobo
1. Lose or get kicked out of your house, or don't. Its
more authentic and makes you look more believable that you are homeless.
Make sure you have a few sets of your favorite run-down and smelly
clothing with you to change into.
2. Get lots of cardboard and a pack of markers that are all
black
3. Jog to your nearest freeway enterance or exit, highly populated
area where there are lots of people willing to spend money, or right outside
a McDonalds, with your supplies.
4. Write some stuff on the cardboard from this list:
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Will work for smoothies
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FART! Give me money!
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A penny for my thoughts?
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Can i go home with you?
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Help! I can't read or write!
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Don't you feel sorry for me?
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MONEY!
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Donations right here!
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Oh no!!! BSB are coming to town! Give me money so I can get
out of this cursed land!
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Burp!
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AOL got me here!
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Just toss anything, that I can use at me, please!
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Hell - why lie? I need a drink
5. Hold up your signs so people can see you and feel sorry for
you and probably give you money or anything else they feel like giving you.
WARNING: This may include a few gun shots
in the leg, so have a first aid kit, and make a new sign saying "i was shot
in the leg! help me! give me money!"
6. If another hobo is there, move to another location, it would
just be mean if you were there too, taking his customers...unless he invites
you to stay.
7. If possible, borrow or buy a dog or cat and have it with
you at all times. People will feel sorry for you more if you have a
pet.
8. Do not drink a starbucks or have anything really expensive looking
with you while your on the job, people will think your fine and not give
you money, or think your fine and steal everything you got from you. You
should get things from McDonalds only, Who wouldn't feel sorry for you then?
11. In just a few decades, you'll be rich! Keep waving
those signs, you Squackle Hobos!
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