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"Racist jokes" include the following classifications of "quick"-type jokes:
racist, religious, sexual, sick, dead baby, and things of that nature.
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them in the first place, this is the reason: because there's a lot of people
submitting these kinds of jokes to the "quicky" jokes and I just wanted to
dump all of the offensive jokes into one page. I do not take these
racist jokes seriously, and therefore am mature enough to distinguish between
reality and what's a stupid joke. If you cannot, then please go to
another section on the left. We take no preference toward one race
or the other, so there are jokes about all races, not just aimed at one.
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TO THE TERMS ON THIS PAGE TO VIEW THESE JOKES, OTHERWISE IF YOU TAKE OFFENSE
TO ANYTHING HERE, BITE ME.
Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a porsche?
A: I don't have a porsche in my garage.
Q: Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a
truck full of bowling balls? A: You can't unload bowling balls with
a pitchfork.
Q: What's sicker than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one
trying to eat it's way out.
Q: What do you do when there's no time to rape a dead baby? A:
There's ALWAYS time to rape a dead baby.
Q: What do you get when you cut a dead baby with a razor? A:
An errection.
Q: Whats better than 100 dead babies stapled to a tree? A:
One baby stapled to 100 trees.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A: A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? A: Two,
one to prop up the car and one to replace it in case it explodes.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious
apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before
I take a bite out of it
Q: Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first ? A: To
see the expression on its face!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What do you call a dead baby, a rat, 6 week old bread and a gerkin?
A: Big Mac
Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles? A:
Nail it's other hand to the floor.
Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid? A:
A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
Q: What's small, and red, and full of holes? A: A baby on a
bed of nails.
Q: How do you get a baby out of a tree? A: You give a Mexican
a stick and tell him it's a pinata!
Q: What's small, and shiny, and blue? A: A baby with a plastic
baggy over its head.
Q: How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? A: 4 1/2.
Q: How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
A: Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.
Q: What do you call a 30week-old premee? A: An Appetizer!
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying in
a ditch? A: Phil
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter
Q: How are babies and the elderly alike? A: Both are fun to
throw out of moving cars.
Q: What's red and dances? A: A baby on a barbecue
Q: Whats worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? A:
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.
Q: What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree? A:
One is legal to hit with an axe.
Q: What bounces up and down at 100mph? A: A baby tied to the
back of a truck.
Q: What's brown and gurgles? A: A baby in a casserole.
Q: Whats the best thing about a siamese twin baby? A:
Threesomes.
Q: What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A:
A baby with a black eye!
Q: What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A:
A baby with a punctured lung.
Q: What's red and goes round and round? A: A baby in a garbage
disposal.
Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? A:
You can't hide dead babies in a gay man.
Q: What's more fun than strapping a baby to a washingline and then
spinning it around at 200km/h? A: Stopping it with a shovel.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on
your wall? A: Art
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on
your porch? A: Matt
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on
a beach? A: Sandy
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in a swimming
pool? A: Bob
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle
of the ocean? A: Fucked
Q: Whats worse than smoking pot with a baby? A: Making a bong
out of it.
Q: What do you get when you blow up Glendale? A: Armogeddon
Q: Why didn't the skeleton fuck Britney Spears? A: Because
he didn't have a boner in his body!
Submitted by
brainchick91
Q: What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies? A:"Hey!
Watch this!"
Submitted by
GFunkBitch
Q: What do you call a bunch of Indians in a Red mini A: A Jaffa
Q: What do you call a bunch of Indians in a Swimming Pool A:
Cocoa Pops
Q: What do you call a bunch of White people in a Swimming Pool
A: Rice Bubbles
Submitted by
The
dirty old man
Q: What's the difference between two gay guys and a freezer? A:
When you pull the meat out of the freezer, it dosent fart.
Submitted by
i
hate white people
Q: What's big, long, and white? A: I still don't know yet.
Q: What's the difference between a white man and a snake? A:
One is an evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the
other is a snake.
Q: What does a white woman and a tampon have in common? A:
They're both stuck up cunts.
Q: How many white girls does it take to screw in a light? A:
None, white girls can't screw
Q: Why do so many white people get lost skiing? A: It's hard
to find them in the snow.
Q: What do you call a white man with a sheep under each arm? A:
A Pimp.
Submitted by
Caylen
Sullivan
Q: What do you call a bunch of black people rolling down a hill?
A: A mud slide.
Submitted by
Young'n
Q: What does BFI stand for on a dumpster? A: Black Family Inside.
Q: How are apples and niggers alike? A: They both hang from
trees.
Submitted by
nigga
hater
Q: Why can't Stevie Wonder read? A: Cause he's a nigger.
Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit? A:
The bag
Submitted by
fuck
niggers!!!
Q: What's long, black, and stinks? A: The unemployment line.
Submitted by
TheJoker03
Q: What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A: A
white girls ass!
Submitted by
fuck
white people
Q: What's the difference between a white whore and a bitch? A:
The white whore would screw everybody in the room and the bitch would fuck
everyone but you.
Submitted by
nonracist
Q: Why do niggers have chainsaws? A: When the niggers start
them up they say: "RUUUNNN niga-niga-niga-niga."
Q: Why do niggers have motorbikes? A: When the niggers are
revvin the motorbikes up, the motorbikes are sayin "COON!-COON!-COON!"
Q: What is a niggers favorite flavor of potato chips? A: Salt
and Vi-nigga!
Q: How does a nigger laugh? A: They s-nigga
Submitted by
whitey
Q: Why are black people so strong? A: TV's are getting heavier.
Submitted by
White
people talk shyt!
Q: How is spoiled milk and a fat white girl's legs alike? A:
They're both white and chunky
Submitted by
i
hate niggers
Q: What's the difference between a deer in the road and a nigger in
the road? A: The deer has skid marks in front of it.
Q: What can a pizza do that a nigger can't? A: Feed a fmily
of 4.
Q: How do you get a nigger out of a tree? A: Cut the rope.
Submitted by
coolkid
Q: There are 2 lesbians and 2 gay guys racing to Alaska. Who
wins? A: The lesbians because they get there lickity split, while
the guys are still back home packin there shit.
Submitted by
rasis
Q: What do you throw a drowning nigger? A: The rest of his
family.
Submitted by Niggers...enuff said
Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a letter? A:
You can send the letter back.
Q: Why don't black people celebrate Thanksgiving? A: KFC isn't
open on the holidays.
Q: What did the nigger say when he slid down the zebra? A:
Now you see me now you dont.
Q: How long does it take a black woman to take a dump? A: Nine
months!
Q: Why is Stevie Wonder smiling all the time? A: Cause he doesnt
know he's black.
Q: How do you get a black guy from hanging around in your front yard?
A: Hang him in the backyard.
Q: Why do all niggers have nightmares? A: Cause we killed the
last one who had a dream.
--
I used to have some black friends...till my dad sold them all.
Submitted by KKK
Q: What's the difference between Batman and a black man? A:
Batman can go out at night without robin.
Q: How does a black woman control the crime rate? A: Have an
abortion.
Q: What do you call 7 niggers in a tree? A: A wind chime
Q: What's long and hard on a nigger? A: The first grade
Q: Why do niggers like basketball? A: It involves running,
shooting, and stealing
Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Holy shit
Q: What does a nigger have in common with sperm? A: Only one
in a millon work
Q: What's the difference between a pothole and a nigger? A:
You'd serve to miss the pothole.
Q: What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg? A: Stop
laughing and reload
Q: Why don't niggers die from the west nile virus? A: Because
mosquitos don't land on shit, only flies do
Q: What do you call a bunch of old niggers in a barn? A: Anitique
farm equipment
Q: Why were wheelbarrows invented? A: To teach niggers to walk
on their hind legs.
Q: What's black, orange, and very pretty? A: A nigger on fire
Submitted by i hate them all
Q: What do you call four niggers in a car? A: Tinted windows
Submitted by Jesus
An Irish guy walks out of a bar.....
Submitted by hates niggers names tony
Q: What do you call a nigger with an afro? A: A microphone
Submitted by j-dub
Q: Why did god make niggers well-hung? A: Because he
felt sorry for putting pubes on there head.
Q: How can you tell if a nigger is well hung? A: If you
can't fit your fingers between the rope and his neck.
Q: What is red, white, and blue, and hangs in my back yard?
A: A nigger and I can paint him any color I want.
Q: What was missing from the million man march? A: A mile of
chain and an auctioneer.
Q: Why did they only count 55 thousand niggers in the million man
march? A: They didn't check the trees.
Submitted by bob
Q: What do you call three natives in a ditch? A: A sleep over
Submitted by i no like white
Q: Why is it so hard to find white racist jokes? A: Cause being
white is bad enough
Submitted by yeahyeahyeahYOUR NOT FUNNY!
Q: Three gay guys are in a jacuzzi and a condum floats to the top.
What do they say? A: "who farted?"
Q: Four gay guys walk into a bar, only one bar stool to sit on, how
do they all sit down? A: They turn the stool over.
Submitted by your mom
Q: Why are niggers so fast? A: All the slow ones are in jail.
Submitted by homophobic
Q: Why are fags always buried 12 feet under? A: Cause deep
down they're good people.
Submitted by Pimp Shit
Q: There is an apartment with three families in it. A black family
lives at the top, a white family lives in the middle and a mexican family
lives at the bottom. A tornado hit the apartment, which family survived?
A: The white family, they were all at work.
Submitted by jip
Q: How do you stop a nigga from drowning? A: Take your foot
off his head.
Submitted by HedoPrincess
Q: What is the definition of black power? A: Four niggers pushing
a stolen car up a hill.
Submitted by I Love Everyone
Why so much hate? I love black people, especially the one hanging from my
tree.
Submitted by honkie
Q: Why are niggers so tall? A: Cause their knee grows (they're
negros).
Submitted by Nigger Killer
Remember the nigger in the Jetsons? You don't? Isn't the future going to
be GREAT!?
Submitted by a racist
Q: How do asian parents name their kids? A: They throw a bunch
of pots and pans down the stairs.
Q: Why don't you run over a black guys bike? A: Because it's
probably yours.
Q: Why do white people go to black peoples garage sales? A:
To get their shit back.
Q: What's funnier than a dead nigger? A: Nothing, hahahahaha.
Submitted by lithuanian
Q: What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? A: Unemployed
Submitted by hang 'em high!
Q: Why do niggers lean to the middle when they drive? A: They
think the smell is coming from outside.
Q: Why don't nigger women make any noise during sex? A: They
were taught never to talk to strangers.
Q: Why do niggers eat tootsie rolls with a fork? A: So they
don't bite off their fingers.
Q: How does a nigger woman turn on the lights after sex? A:
She opens the car door.
Q: Did you hear what Abe Lincoln said after a 5-day drunk? A:
I freed the WHAT????
Q: What was the best thing about the Million Man March? A:
Only three of them missed work.
Q: Why do nigger women wear their panties around their ankles when
they eat? A: To keep the flies off the food.
Q: What's the definition of a nigger virgin? A: Any girl who
can outrun her father and brothers.
Q: How do you castrate a nigger? A: Kick his sister in the
jaw.
Q: Did you hear about the two niggers on "That's Incredible?"
A: One had auto insurance and the other knew who his father was.
Q: What are the six most terrifying words in the English language?
A: "Yo....I be ya' new neighbor!"
Q: What do you call two niggers in a shoebox? A: A pair of
black loafers.
Q: How do you ruin a nigger "house party?" A: Flush the punch
bowl.
Q: What word begins with "N", ends with "R", and you never want to
call a black person? A: Neighbor.
Q: If a nigger and a spic were drowning, and you could only save one
of them, would you, a) go to lunch, or b) read the paper?
Q: Why do niggers walk the way they do? A: They spent the first
nine months of their lives dodging coat hangers.
Q: Why was golf invented? A: So White people get a chance to
dress like niggers.
Q: Why did the nigger cross the road? A: Who the hell cares
and what's he doing out of the cotton field?
Q: What qualifies as good behavior in a black school? A: Raising
your hand before bustin' a cap in teacher.
Submitted by ZylonBob
Q: What should you do before a jew dentist puts you under? A:
Hide your wallet.
Q: Why did the jews wander in the desert for 40 years? A: Someone
dropped a quarter.
Q: What did the jew father say when his son asked him for twenty dollars?
A: "Fifteen dollars? What do you need ten dollars for?
Q: When is the only time you wink at a jew? A: Through the
scope of your rifle.
Q: Why don't jews like oral sex? A: It's too close to the gas
chamber.
Q: How does Santa Claus know he's at a jewish house? A: Parking
meters on the roof.
Q: You're in an elevator with a rattlesnake, a serial killer, and
a jew lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets in it. What should you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: Did you hear about the jewish child molester? A: He hid
in the bushes and said, "Hey little girl, wanna buy some candy?"
Q: How do you get a jew to commit suicide? A: Throw a quarter
on the L.A. expressway at rush hour.
Submitted by wayde
Q: What's orange, black, and very beautiful? A: A nigger on
fire!
Submitted by chunkylover69
Q: What happened to the baby nigger playing in the sand box? A:
The cat buried 'em!
Submitted by White boy
Q: What do you call a bunch of niggas in a swimming pool? A:
An oil spill
Submitted by Nigger Hater
Q: What do society and jelly beans have in common? A: We all
hate the black ones.
Q: What do you say to a nigger in a three piece suit? A: Will
the defendant please rise.
Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A:
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
Q: How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? A: They
don't work in the future, either.
Q: Why do niggers cry during sex? A: The Mace.
Q: What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot
15 times? A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
Q: Why do niggers stink? A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic? A: Someone
too lazy to steal.
Q: Why is there cotton in a bottle of medicine? A: To remind
niggers they picked cotton before drugs!
Q: Why do niggers have big dicks? A: So they have something
to play with on Christmas!
Q: How do you babysit a niglet? A: Put Velcro on the ceiling
and tell him to jump.
Q: How do you get him down? A: Invite the spics over, blindfold
them and tell them it's a pinata party.
Q: What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A
good start.
Q: What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life? A: First grade.
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Niggers trying to steal
hubcaps from moving cars.
Q: A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits
the ground first? A: Who cares.
Q: A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits
the ground first? A: The spic, because the nigger had to stop on the
way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Q: Why don't spics have barbeques? A: The beans keep falling
through the grill
Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
Q: When does a black man turn into a nigger? A: As soon as
he leaves the room.
Q: How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit? A:
9 months.
Q: Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
A: California got first pick.
Submitted by WHITE POWER
Q: Why do niggers put mustard on there tootsie rolls? A: So
they don't bite their fingers.
Q: Did you here about Ku Klux Kenivele? A: He tried to jump
100 niggers in a steam roller.
Submitted by cooldude
Q: What does the KKK and Nike have in common? A: They both
make black people run fast
Submitted by I'm really not racist, I just htink these jokes are funny
Q: What's the longest word in a black man's vocabulary? A:
Sheeeit.
Q: Why are there so many trees in Harlem? A: Public transportation.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? A:
Who knows? But it could sure pick the shit out of lettuce.
Submitted by lol
Q: How do you stop an Iraqi tank? A: Shoot the person
pushing it.
Submitted by Fuck You
Q: Why do all niggers have low riders? A: To pick the
cotton easier
Q: How do you start a riot in Mexico? A: Throw a quarter
Q: Who's the richest man in Mexico? A: The person who got the
quarter
Q: What does FUBU stand for? A: Farmers Used to Beat
Us
Submitted by yes
Q: What do you call a mexican baptism? A: Bean dip
Submitted by crazy coonass
Q: How are niggers and sperm alike? A: Only one out of a million
work.
Submitted by politically incorrect
Q: What's five miles long, doesn't work, and has an IQ of 5? A:
The Million Man March
Submitted by pom
Q: Why do black people put their trash in clear bags? A: So
the mexicans can go window shopping.
Q: How do you starve a mexican? A: Hide the food stamps under
the soap.
Q: What are the first three words of the Mexican National Anthem?
A: "Attention K-Mart shoppers"
Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for christmas? A: So they have
something to unwrap.
Q: Why don't Mexicans have an olympic team? A: All of the ones
that can run, jump, or swim have already made it across the border.
Q: Why do Mexicans refry their beans? A: Have you ever seen
a spic do soemthing right the first time?
Q: What kind of cans are in Mexico? A: MexiCANS.
Submitted by stevie
Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and a hard working nigger?
A: They have pictures of Bigfoot.
Submitted by pokemonsux540
Q: Why did the nigger cross the road? A: He saw a bucket of
chicken.
Submitted by stanisawesome
Q: How did the nigger die on the highway? A: He stuck his head
out the window and his lips beat him to death.
Submitted by Milk Bottle
Q: What's the only thing positive about a Samalian? A: HIV
Submitted by JimmyHensdicks
Q: Why do niggers wind up with jobs as Public Toilet Attendants?
A: Cause they're right at home with pieces of shit!
Submitted by shore is fucken racist
Q: Why do white people compete with others on the basis of color?
A: Because if they competed on brains, they'd lose.
Submitted by WHITE PPL TRY 2 ACT BLACK
Q: What does a white woman make for dinner? A: Reservations
Q: What did the white man do before his blood test? A: He studied
Submitted by penguin06
Q: What do a black woman and a hockey player have in common? A:
They both change their pads after 3 periods
Q: Ronnie, a black man with a 10th grade education, a criminal record,
and 5 gold teeth applies for a job at a bank. James, a white male with a
highschool diploma, no criminal record and no gold teeth, applies for the
same job. James is hired. Why? A: Because, the bank is racist! Call
the NAACP!
Submitted by unamis
Q: How do you starve a Phillipino? A: Lock up their dogs
Submitted by rcnpimpin
Q: How do you know an Asian has robbed your house? A: When
your computere is upgraded, homework is done, and the chink is still trying
to back out of the yard.
Submitted by master
Q: What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill?
A: Jailbreak
Submitted by JayC
Q: What do you call a black cop? A: A pigger
Submitted by NAACP Niggers are always causing problems
Q: How does a nigger bitch take a pregnancy test? A: She sticks
a banana up her pussy. If it comes out half eaten, theres another monkey
on the way!
And a special message from him: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH FUCK NIGGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Stewie
Q: Why don't niggers like heavy metal? A: They get enough of
it in jail.
Submitted by WhiteJokesSUCK
Q: How do you make a black guy wear a condom? A: By putting
a Nike logo on it
Q: Why is a nigger like a vending machine? A: Neither work,
but both take your money
Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a letter? A:
You can send a letter back to where it came from
Q: Why is the Afghan Air Force easy to train? A: You only need
to teach them how to take off
Q: How do you blindfold a chink? A: With dental floss
Submitted by crazy frank
Q: What happens when you stick your hand in a jar full of jelly beans?
A: The black ones take your watch
Submitted by black n proud
Q: Why do white people like to have sex in front of the mirror?
A: Objects may be larger than they appear.
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