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Other Junk \ You Know
You're Sick When...
1. ...you vomit and the vomit mysteriously spells, "fart"
2. ...you are butt-fucking a goat in the backyard while your mom and
the whole neighborhood is watching you, regularly
3. ...you watch, "I Love Lucy" and fall in love with Ricky and the
way he bongs on his bongos and can't stop thinking how he'd bong your bongos
4. ...you think the Home Alone Series is intellectual and educational,
and your favorite part is when Kevin's mom screams
5. ...you have the game "Shaq-Fu" for SEGA Genisis
6. ...you say "cheek cheeky boom boom" when you get arrested when they
say, "whatever you say can and will be used in a court of law"
7. ...you get up in the morning and feel like reading the Encyclopedia
Brittanica from A-Z with all the special issues and add ons for the 5th time
in 3 days
8. ...you throw marshmallows at someone you have a crush on
9. ...you play Bingo with yourself and shout, "BINGO!!" when you get
it, you also live with 4 friends that now think your crazy
10. ...you think a cool thing to do is to dangle a cap from a string
and hypnotize people
11. ...you think walking into a church naked is a funny prank, but
even better, is walking into a nudist's church with clothes on
12. ...you eat your intestine as a bedtime snack
13. ...you stick pencils up every hole in your body and run through
town, naked, with the pencils in your holes, screaming, "I'm a walrus!"
14. ...you get bees up your pants regularly
15. ...you pelt yourself, and other people with pudding every Sunday
16. ...you use "what is the name of your telephone number" for a pickup
line
17. ...you beat dogs, just cuz they show their butthole to the whole
world and still "smile"
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You're Sick When... | 
