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(Stupid) Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the only
time I have to work on my hair]
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside". [Evidently, the shoplifter special]
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And that
would be how...?]
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." [But it's
*just* a suggestion]
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside
down". [Oops, too late!]
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
[As sure as night follows the day...]
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". [But wouldn't
this save even more time?]
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds
off those forklifts.]
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" [One would hope]
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
[As opposed to what?]
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". [I
gotta admit, I'm curious].
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH]
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat
nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta]
14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly". [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]
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