Home \
Squackle Quotes
\ Dr. OldNBald Quotes
By the way, Dr. OldNBald IS a teacher.
Fun fact: Dr. OldNBald is a horrible teacher. When he teaches us new stuff
he always uses variables and never does examples for us with real numbers.
That's why we did so bad in his class, and when we asked him to do
examples with numbers, he refuses. You might as well sleep in the class,
and you'd get the same amount of useful information. And he makes his
tests hard on purpose, and most fail. The only ones that didn't were ones
with tutors.
- "uh oh. Houston. we have a problem!"
- "cute, huh? take that home and show it to your grandmother"
- "cost per pen: cents"
- "w'ere gonna work everything in CENTS"
- "The question is did Kristin just see what Kristin did?"
- "so its riiiiight next to it"
- "if you have to use a calculator, you're doing something wrong!"
- "your calculator calculates nothing!"
- "4 is almost 3. close to three, but not 3..."
- "our number better come out bigger than 1 and a half hours"
- "it'll get done in a lil' less than 2 hours"
- "...times the time equals work done"
- "sometimes they give you the rate, they just bang it out"
- "at 12:15--AAHHH! Here it is! At 12:15 a train passes..."
- "by the way, do these pictures help?"
- "OH COMON! I'm asking you what 1 and 1 is and no one in the class will
tell me!"
- "ok, ps are cool"
- "you're gonna make it squeak for us, aren't you"
- "unh hunh"
- "now, how'd she do that? did everyone do it in their heads?"
- "I wanna hear it, I wanna hear you"
- "I spent the whole weekend grading tests and quizzies"
- "what's comin' out of your mouth now is garbage"
- "I don't wanna hear 'kinda.' 'kinda' means 'no'"
- "g of x is this"
- "well, I don't know what g is YET"
- "what are you doing? tell me what you're thinking"
- "if you have a number, put it in the prescription!"
- "and that's the g of what?"
- "I will beat you on the head if you say you understand it and you really
don't"
- "do-do-don't you dare pick that thing up"
- "you don't know what the f is!"
- "its the x that is 0, its the x in here!" ::pointing to the blackboard::
- "I spent a long time in Algebra 1..."
- "low and behold, its the same thing!"
- "that's how ya do it, that's right!"
- "ok, Robert. I'm back to beating your head again"
- "don't complex it up"
- "you've got to recognize"
- "what can you tell me about 'this' and 'that'? ...same thing. They're
the same thing!"
- "how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time..."
- "big hairy mess..." (that was very random)
- "the 38 rounds up to 4..."
- "foil. remember foil?"
- "can I take your 27 out of that?"
- "Herse to Desiree, Herse to Desiree...!"
- "I see your eyes blinking, so I know you're alive"
- "you need to say something"
- "E-Zee....E-Zee...!"
- ::pointing:: "we're not going to say that again, remember? NEVAH!"
- "do you really understand how I works? sounds like bad English..."
- "SAVED-YOUR-BUTT!"
- "I'm gonna do it but I'm gonna talk to Vivian first"
- "its I times this"
- "but whats I times that?"
- "you do all these steps at the same time, sure shootin' yer gonna make
a mistake!"
- "chivalry is not dead. Chivalry is NOT dead" I hate people who say
this...
- "what if my grandmother had wheels?"
- "E-Zee....E-Zee....!"
- "I ran through 50 yards of barbed wire to get to school"
- "you have to watch my footwork today. Fancy Footwork!"
- "let's call this, our basic, naked, parabola"
- "how fast does it go up"
- "this one's not naked, its got an a on it"
- "is this line outside the bare one, or inside the bare one?"
- "now, watch the dance...I have a parabola here"
- "make yourself happy"
- "and then you do all the girations..." "girations" is Dr. OldNBald's new
favorite word. He's used it at least 15 different times in the same day
- "'crystal' ...Tom Cruise quote"
- "trivially simple"
- "its the naked one sitting on the axis"
- "I was afraid you died for a moment. You weren't moving" As opposed to
dying for a long time?
- "pie are squared is wrong"
- "its easy if you understand it and hard if you don't"
- "it means x one time"
- "oh geez, I'm subtracting a minus sign and... too complicated" ::shaking
while he says it, imitating us::
- "I better get a zero"
- "you're gonna lose those things if I see them again"
- "BANG! ::twists around wtih his arm in the air::"
- "Bing Bing Bing!"
- "Bing bing bing, you get your answer"
- "pretty slick, huh?"
- "put away all the eats"
- "this is now, just a bare x"
- "did you notice? bang bang bang bang bang bang--its done!"
- "ok, I think we've milked everything we can out of this equation..."
- "yes that's true...yes that's true....::looking up:: Is that true? no
its not true..."
- "what does rational roots means? mean..."
- "a number that!"
- "does everyone see that (see that)?" he kind of echoes himself
- "dot dot dot are en"
- "if we don't find rational roots, we're dead in the water"
- "I don't understand what you said, but I'm sure its wrong"
- "because you bing! you solve the quadratic!"
- "that tells you you have one somethingth"
- "did you sneeze the right answer"
- "what's a rational number look like, folk?" he meant to say "folks"
- "comon comon comon you all know this"
- "1 minus 2 equals zero"
- a banner in the room: "...a man is what he makes of himself"
- a banner in the room: "Lost time is never found again"
- a banner in the room: "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety nine
percent perspiration" So i can be smart if I sweat then, huh?
- a banner in the room: "Energy and persistence conquer all things"
- a banner in the room: "If we all worked on the assumption that what is
accepted as true is really true, there would be little hope of advance" what
the hell? The person that made that quote is retarded.
- "they put their big ear shining on them"
- "this is actually used in the big bad world!"
- "...Al Qaeda is having a meeting...and the CIA uses their big ear to collect
information..."
- "is there anyone that didn't follow my handwaving?" try the whole class...
- "let me do this on Earth"
- "what can you say about effin g?"
- "and you put that in there and that in here..."
- "and the f function did something to the g function whatever it did..."
- "put the x in here put the x in here!"
- "now! what do I do? ...."
- "dummy variable"
- "keep that in your back pocket" ::talking about the number .6057::
- "punch punch punch punch -- times!" ::talking about calculators::
- "when I was taking this class, all the computing power in the world, in
the WORRRLD...was less than the watch on my wrist" yeah, it was interesting
the first time you said it....and it told us how old you really were. At
least 1299.
- "the computers you have are 100,000 times better than those back then..."
this was a part of him babbling about computers
- "::waving his arms around:: Its pie! no! its not pie!"
- "...and you say 'gee, what is that thing'"
- "anti-logarithm"
- "and its clear that the Indians didn't rip off the settlers! they payed
22.50 for this piece of dirt! If they put it into the bank then, they'd have
enough to buy the whole Manhattan Island back!"
- "woody material"
- "that's a billionth of a billionth...or is it a millionth of a millionth?
Its a millionth of a millionth"
- "the ratio to Carbon-12 and Carbon-14 is constant because the sun is constant"
until it goes out and that's the end of us all!
- "I don't know about your calculator but my calculator has a little button
that you just punch..." ::he pulls a calculator out of his pocket::
- "MATH CLUB MEMBERSHIP NOT REQ'D (NOTE; NOT)
- "Earth to Robert, Earth to Robert..."
- "Put your brain in gear before you use your mouth"
- "ready to go another thousand miles?"
- "inside the perens."
- "I give up on this class" then he throws the chalk up in the air, kind
of like his career, going up then down. He dropped it too.
- "crazy numbers"
- "10 plus a hair....20 plus a hair"
- "I took a stack of papers from the classroom"
- "I like to make you think" ::talking about the tests that he gives to us,
which most of us fail::
- "2 and 5, 10 and 20"
- "nothing is going on between 40 and zero"
- "I don't give out a minus infinity, even the way I grade them!"
- "the 3rd quartile is around 92"
- "waaaay big numbers! ::reaching to the top of the chalkboard::"
- "randomness makes normal distribution"
- "I've never heard of anybody 6 inches tall"
- "there certainly isn't anybody over this height"
- "this is supposed to be symmetric"
- "Robert! you just moved yourself"
- "this guy is selling videocassettes. He wants to anticipate the future
selling"
- "the more VCRs you have, the more videocassettes you're gonna sell. It
makes sense, doesn't it?" noooo.....
- "How do you count things?"
- "Kelly must buy hamburger rolls for a barbecue"
- "either she's going to the supermarket and go to the bakery, unless she
buys one at the supermarket and one at the bakery, ....but she's not going
to do that!" where the "..." is, a lot of rambling goes on
- "he can ask for one scoop of....one of those"
- "one scoop of one"
- "if he is allowed to have only one scoop, but has the choice to make it
out of some of those..."
- "less than fifty...? digit numbers...less than 50...even number...how many?
how can we do it?"
- "one two three four"
- "zero two four six eight"
- "30s and even number...40 is an even number, fifty is not allowed"
- "now I go back and reach in again"
- "is that confusing, Jennifer?"
- "....for concreteness"
- "you have n there...well actually I did say arr!"
- "this is where I pick 1, this is where I pick two"
- "now, pick 3 of them, how many are left in the bag? pick 3, how many are
left in the bag?"
- "there are n minus 3 left in the bag"
- "I pick 4 of them now...how many are left-in-the-bag"
- "how many choices do I have?"
- "n minus 4! there are n minus 4 picks!"
- "its my 5th pick"
- "see how this going? one less one less one less one less one less one less
one less"
- "if I do this r times...."
- "::slaps someone's desk:: you need to wake up. Important stuff here" its
not really, he makes it more complicated that it is
- "if I have n things, and pu thtem on the table, order matters, how many
permutation do I have?"
- "n to the arr!"
- "you should have this in your book and in your notes"
- "that's down to one"
- "how many ways can the letters in justice be moved around"
- "7 letters, five at a time"
- "I have dice one has Js on all sides and another has Us on all sides..."
then he changes his example from dice to marbles with letters painted on
them and babbles on forever
- "how many choices do you have for the fourth marble"
- "if you understand it and you truly understand it, then you understand
it!"
- "now let's think in terms of colored balls"
- "if you wanna say it, say it so we can hear it"
- "how many ball do we have?"
- "how many ways can you arrange the letters in the world hubbub"
- "and 2 us are identical, they're interchangable"
- "For all some none"
- "how many ways can 6 books be arranged on a shelf"
- "that's 30 there"
- "A is a subset of itself"
- "do you understand the concept of one and many?"
- "I can take it out 3 factorial ways"
- "make out of n objects when I only wanna look at r at a time"
- "we know what n-P-r is, but whats r-P-r?"
- "all black balls are disinstiguished from each other. If you get a black
ball then its a black ball" I think this is more of a racist statement using
metaphors than a good Algebra 2 example
- "5 black 3 white 1 red 1 blue 1 orange"
- "after the...between the first two"
- "its got a tail and a head. Its called a fair coin"
- "two tails and a head, three tails"
- "If I bet 3 heads are gonna come up, what should I win?"
- "one equals one"
- "2 is not equal 4"
- "somebody say something, you're not all dead are you?"
- "what's funny? wanna let me in on it?"
- "why are you laughing at Mike? ...its not right to laugh at the less fortunate"
har har pretty funny joke there. If an administrator heard and saw that,
he'd be out like a grandma in a coma hooked up to tubes
- "Robert, PLEASE, PLEASE, just be quiet"
- "2 is not less than one" thanks for the math lesson for today, I actually
got something out of it...
- "I was born in Philadelphia, because I wanted to be close to my mom"
- "water came in through all the holes"
- "it could pass any car on the road, but not a gas station"
- "you're on the track, you're saying the wrong thing"
- "doesn't take us in there. theta has has to be bigger than 30" theta is
a greek letter...yeah...
- "that's what the problem states"
- "I can see what the answer...and I don't....wanna....draw the picture that
shows the answer because then you'll ask how did you know to draw that picture"
- "no. no. half of it is half of whatever it is"
- "nonono"
- "the calculator will calculate real fast when you want it to calculate
- "you write that number you use that number and it gives you the little
cosecant"
- "what does that mean what does each of those mean?"
- "...which is the same as zero degrees"
- "go buy the book" ::talking about the calculator manual::
- "you HAVE to learn how to use the calculator, and if you don't know how,
there's no point in having it, and ladies STOP talking. And that means YOU"
- "its BOTH your faults"
- "here's minus 70"
- "cause you go up 2...the positive x axis"
- "...so that you won't bother my little friends"
- "you just throw away 360"
- "ok? ok?"
- "its playing with your calculator"
- "there's noises coming out of your mouth. When you stop making noises out
of your mouth, stop talking"
- "for some of these....TI computers..." ::talking about graphing calculators::
- "its a losing cause and it will get you in trouble"
- "its a sweet thing, but you're getting her in trouble"
- "the guy in the helicopter is looking at the guy in the car"
- "...getting fried, but looking at you"
- "we are now going to calculate the height of what Mount Everest is"
- "does that look like Mount Everest? Well you're at a different angle"
- "1050 feet. You can measure that with a ruler"
- "oh. gosh! how do we solve this problem"
- "we don't like anything, we do them"
- "there are junior and senior males out there" ::talking to someone who
says she's not going to the prom (she's a sophomore)::
- "stop. please stop. ok?"
- "I want this triangle to hav eno right triangles in it"
- "the angle A sort of looks at side a"
- "That looks at that side. This looks at that side. That looks at this side"
- "where's your head, man?"
- "yeah, he uses it to hang his head on"
- "do you see that Victor? can you see where that came from? can you see
the board?" ::shouting::
- "he didn't have his glasses on so I had a feeling he couldn't see the board"
- "I was gonna get you a birthday cake, but I was afraid I would drop it,
so I didn't" ::trying to be funny(?)::
- "balogna! ::disgusted look::"
- "some of them are really really fast"
- "its the Scotch tape machine...someone used all the Scotch tape to do that..."
::talking about how someone used all the Scotch tape to cover a tape dispenser
with enough tape to make it useless::
- "blunked out stares"
- "ok, Jessica...you're on the grittle"
- "say it again, in English, just so that I can understand you"
- "fresh brand spankin' new"
- "you have to be given three things"
- "you have to be given two sides and an angle or....::a loud beep comes
out of nowhere::"
- "Algebra is fun!"
- "yeah....but WHY?"
- "Jennifer, pick an angle!"
- "the sign is the one I want you to get really familiar with"
- "when I was a kid I brought my wagon around to other people's houses, and
they would save their newspapers for me. When I got the newspaper I put it
in a bundle ::he shows with his hands how big it was:: and when the junkman
came, he took a hook and picked up the bundle ::does a hand motion of a hook
grabbing a newspaper bundle that isn't there:: and the newspaper went up
and down ::he has his right arm in the air as the hook and his left arm as
the newspaper, flat handed, going up and down, showing how the newspaper
went up and down:: and the counter read the weight as it went up and down,
showing the weight"
- "you ain't goin back"
- "any questions about that?"
- "126? 125?"
- "what is 7 in the base 7?"
- "a to the long a"
- "1 8 1 1 2 6 2"
- "and you have to be carrying more decimal places than you guys have been
carrying" more than 3 pounds? I don't want to hold more decimal places!
Its getting heavy!
- "almost all of you have a button that has a square root" I do?? and where
would it be? in my ass?
- "YO!! FOLKS! did I lose you again?"
- "please, pleassee, pleassseeee!"
- "as we get closer and closer to zero, there isn't a triangle there" ...what?
- "and x gets closer and closer to what?"
- "no. It makes more sense to do this" what does? not going in order? or
firing you?
- "::goes through a lot of calculations, and calling them out loud as he
does it:: ....oops...!" I assume he messed up...
- "and here's the angle we know" really? wow haven't seen him in a long time.
How is he doing? and the kids? Goooood.....
- "no! I don't want you to learn anything from it" ::talking about giving
back a test::
- "its close enough to 60 degrees, I believe it" I don't, I think 60 degreees
is a liar!
- "I have the angle in my calculator and I'm gonna take the sign of it" NOOO!
Release him you DEMON!
- "ok, quick check"
- "let's call that h, for the heck of it" subtle humor...
- "with your calculators, you can do strange and wonderous things!"
- "if you're going from punching something in to writing it down"
- "what do you put it on? or can you tell me?"
- "makes it sticky so you can catch footballs? makes it slippery so you can't?"
- "you're staring at infinity"
- "you're gonna have a leg up on all the other sections that don't study
Chapter 8"
- "does that make sense to you? ::calls the names of 8 people and they all
say yep, yes, yeah or a derivitive of it::"
- "this is cute, and maybe not expected" ::talking about a special rule in
matrices. So cute..."
- "its the slickest one of all" ::talking about a special rule in matrices.
So slick...::
- "Katie, if you come in the middle, just sit down"
- "I've got all these ones here I can play with"
- "put the book away"
- "from my stick figure drawings, it may look like 2 parabolas, but its NOT"
Home \
Squackle Quotes
\ Dr. OldNBald Quotes | 
