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\ Mr. Shaft-Man Quotes
To see a funny rendition of Mr. Shaft-Man in action, check out this comic:
A Schaafsma/Mr.
Shaft-Man Comic
- "squ"
- "volunteerism"
- "kiss-up points"
- "yuck! fractions!"
- "we won't worry about please yet"
- "and Aunt Sally is add and subtract. those two go together"
- "pee. please"
- "* -> Add"
- "a dumb, little word like 'or'"
- "this word 'is' is very important"
- "action verb! ::spreads his arms out"
- "5 plus 7 is a new number called 12!"
- "5 is greater than 7. True or False?"
- "There is a new thing here. Called a 'table'"
- "With each example they give you a solution"
- "Big fat red bar above it"
- "subtraction is tricky"
- "aup oh zit"
- "the keyword is aup oh zit"
- "flipping fractions!"
- "negative signs blablle"
- "evaluate does not mean solve"
- "answer has no meaning"
- "that's a good English evaluation"
- "Is cherry a percentage, or is kiwi a percentage?"
- "I could care less about orange juice"
- "unless they give me a volume of orange juice or percentage, I could care
less"
- "we're gonna go alphabetical"
- "you've got to know your twosies"
- "I writ them down" Note: yes, he used "writ"
- "this is your foursies"
- "ahhhh! now your talking! ::points::"
- "what is solve?"
- "ahh ok. your sorta there"
- "somethings missing. Find the missing piece"
- "how many laps did we do?"
- "the word times is in that question"
- "the word 'of' tells us we're going to multiply"
- "double negative becomes a plus"
- "excuse. please excuse exponents"
- "we have good ol' Aunt Sally which means we do addition last"
- "buying the skirt is a negative 26 dollars"
- "minus a minus 8"
- "we're gonna learn you how to do practice problems"
- "because they weren't.....::claps::"
- "computers are based on the number 2"
- "computers are not hard"
- "fours are tricky"
- "calculators are basically dumb"
- "you can, not, do that! ouch! burn!"
- "go back, sit down, and enjoy yourself"
- "numbers are wonderful, because you can memorize answers!"
- "zero comes in many forms...."
- "x cannot be a two"
- "we have a bad fraction"
- "minus x to a plus x"
- "3, 6, 12 LCM = 12"
- "all of you are fairly known with numbers"
- "I'm not that good..."
- "ok!?"
- "18 why zee"
- "times why times why times why"
- "5 times 2 why you!"
- "2 times 2 makes 4!"
- "don't forget that word: factor!"
- "we know for foil that one x is equal to 2x"
- "one is a plus and one is a minus"
- "five on D?"
- "that's not that one"
- "you-have-a-difference-of-two-cubes"
- "minus 5 x minus a minus 4 x which is a minus x"
- "first thing we're gonna change, is this"
- "plus, we have to foil these, too"
- "over x plus........2"
- "mmmmh....mmmkay"
- "ha! bad word: learn!"
- "PLEASE excuse my dear aunt Sally!"
- "If you don't draw pictures for me, don't expect credit!"
- "we have a property of zero"
- "so that means either!"
- "is is equal to"
- "well, just don't! please..."
- "x equals something, y equals something"
- "dirty word: think shhhh!"
- "numbers that indicate a direction"
- "down or left, the hard part: which one?"
- "plane means a surface.....surface. Its where aeroplanes got their names,
this won't fly"
- "quadrant, quad means four"
- "counter-clockwise is a very important direction..."
- "over...and over...and over....it can repeat infinitely..."
- "it is always gonna be x first y second"
- "MUST. BE. INTEGERS"
- "when I put a is greater than zero, that means a is equal to more than
zero"
- "we like a to be positive"
- "we're gonna have a horizontal line. nope"
- "I have a horizontal line. where is it?"
- "easiest ones are the hardest ones"
- "zero-is-a-number"
- "vertical has no slope"
- "I'm harping on this because"
- "sorry, wrong answer. none means blank"
- "undefined. we've heard this word before"
- "zero cannot be a fraction"
- "how do we read? how do we read?"
- "throwing a lot of language at you..."
- "its rise value is zero"
- "there are 12 pairs of pairs of ordered pairs"
- "we are playing the game of 'Passing the Objective'"
- "well, you need to do work"
- "put it on your paper or staple your head to the paper when you turn it
in!"
- "you need to know how to do ninesy"
- "9 said graph...each equation"
- "we didn't have to do any calculator"
- "zero two negative four zero"
- "let x be a negative two, y equals one"
- "if I wanna pick odds, that's great, they're still on the same line"
- "There are little things called pixels"
- "I assume you all know about primary colors"
- "just an electronic stimulation"
- "we have zero over thirteen which zero"
- "nine five nine negative five"
- "we have negative two four"
- "delta means change"
- "negative is a direction"
- "our rise is actually going down"
- "if you're gonna free-hand it, in other words, what I just did..."
- "great but make it neat"
- "we're not playing the objective game where you do 48 of 'em"
- "don't lose minus signs"
- "you have a job, and that is to listen...to write down...to take notes..."
- "the cheater and the cheatee"
- "2 is a 2"
- "one zero....excuse me, four"
- "so, we're gonna have the same months..."
- "we make a bar for April"
- "we make a bar for May"
- "we have a bar that goes up to 45"
- "we have a bar that goes up to 29"
- "yes...it-is-a-funcion"
- "one ta one fucntions. ok? one to one"
- "All, this is easy, ALL!"
- "notice I said diagonal"
- "what about the horizontal?"
- "then, yass it is"
- "there are 4 different second degree functions"
- "this is the hardest question of the group of questions you are going to
be asked"
- "its gonna take a while before you learn how to read that"
- "that's a new notation...alright let's take a look at some weird lookin'
graphs"
- "here's a weird lookin' graph"
- "forever both direction, up?"
- "we can't draw forever on a piece of paper so you'll have to get your
imagination to work"
- "it flunked the vertical line test"
- "they both flunked the horizontal line test"
- "this passes the vertical, flunks the horizontal"
- "this is called a circle"
- "squashed circle"
- "x equals. good"
- "y equals good"
- "2 variables good"
- "we have to do so much in one shot"
- "BECAAAAUSE....there is a square thingy in here"
- "you have to know the vertex point"
- "am I going too fast so you can't take notes?"
- "using a little formula"
- "am I writing too fast?"
- "negative fifty over four"
- "the 5 letter dirty word think"
- "if you forget this funky little formula, don't worry about it"
- "yeah, I'll do another one..."
- "so, let's do another one"
- "step by step, slowly"
- "domains are the x's"
- "they could be imaginary"
- "real numbers vs. imaginary numbers"
- "and the range r"
- "29 billION dollars"
- "1 million fifty six BillION"
- "they're jumping high"
- "...stays fairly plain..."
- "one f of negative 3 is seven thrids"
- "we want to do f of 3"
- "we want f of negative 3"
- "we're given f of t"
- "we again have a linear"
- "tea of zero"
- "...which is -2!"
- "there's the axis of symmetry"
- "then it says...to...find...the vertex!"
- "so at one one there is the vertex point"
- "just substitue the middle"
- "...and twenty three eights"
- "x is x over one"
- "x plus one over x plus one"
- "we can combine the one plus one"
- "plus two-zee"
- "no other questions ::claps twice::"
- "along with your scan card"
- "whoa...we missed that one, didn't we?"
- "14 = 12"
- "I don't hear with my eyeballs"
- "I really don't feel like being the behavior patrol...every-day..."
- "its fascinating how you say 'shh!' the minute I turn around"
- "I like the b letter"
- "...Pierre's age NOW"
- "there's a keyword. Younger means subtract"
- "last year she is 4 years older than she is now?"
- "she's negative 5 years old?"
- "HEY. REMEMER PIERRE IS ONE YEAR YOUNGER!"
- "spread it out to both of them"
- "beware of the phrase 'in 4 years,' that means the future"
- "6 in the ones column"
- "look at number 9 please"
- "number 9 has an interesting new word in it...called reverse"
- "digits of a two digit number"
- "we are going to use the number line"
- "we get that d"
- "tell him thanks anyway"
- "we're gonna let x be Ida"
- "what is this thing...'at least'....at least...."
- "that's the leeeast"
- "further means greater"
- "there are twice as many nickels as dimes"
- "or means either is true"
- "or means union, to put them together"
- "if I'm going too fast just just ::waves his hand in the air:: slow me
down..."
- "and does not mean either"
- "equalities will always be ors"
- "since this is an or it is a disjunction"
- "we get that pee is lesser than eleven"
- "J is Joe, Joe is 43"
- "its easier to change the as"
- "the as cancel"
- "squaring undoes square-rooting"
- "so, you get pee minus 1 equals zero"
- "which means pee equals 1"
- "12 PLUS 2 ::clap::"
- "we radical both sides of the equation"
- "we get it so it is equal to zero"
- "::waits for 10 seconds looking around and nods his head:: agreed?"
- "the answer is nnno!"
- "this is going to be a negative number, there's no way around it"
- "zero x value is zero"
- "that's the smallest it can be can it be bigger?"
- "you guys like playing what if, so I'm gonna play what if with you"
- "I know, the 5 letter dirty word. You have to think" other people in the
class say "think" with him
- "blindly bubble"
- "don't do it dumbly"
- "dumb little dimple things"
- "would I lie to you ever?"
- "a plane can't fly at negative miles per hour"
- "four minus a minus sixteen"
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