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Bob
Moo, Pennsylvania, probably the smallest town in America should go down in
history. It has a population of twelve people, 436 chickens, 115 pigs, and
an old dog that ironically has the name Puppy. The town consists of four
houses, a one room school house that has four students, a gas station, and
of course a KFC. Now in this town people have the choice of three careers--a
gas station attendant, a teacher who teaches every grade, or a farmer.
Now in this town lives a man named Billy Bob. Fat, ugly and stupid, nobody
likes Billy Bob. Due to his lack of social skills, Billy Bob has worn the
same shirt and jeans for two years. For some odd reason, he smells like shoe
polish. He's very clumsy and almost always doing something wrong. In a town
with a population of twelve people it's easy for people to get on each other's
nerves. People were considering throwing him out of town.
One day while Billy Bob was working in the cornfields, he tripped over a
bag and fell in some cow poop. He began to swear and punch at nothing, when
he decided to take a look in the bag. In it was one million dollars in hundred
dollar bills. Billy Bob immediately decided what he wanted to do with it.
First, he wanted to buy a bunch of chicken wings, second, he wanted to buy
a boat (this should show you what kind of an idiot he was, seeing as there
was no water within 150 miles, and he had no car), and, third, he wanted
to buy some gum.
He immediately went to the KFC and ordered 200 buckets of chicken wings.
The waitress asked if he could pay for it and he showed her the bag. He began
to eat his chicken wings. After he was pleasantly full, he walked outside
and tripped over a pig. He hit his head on a nearby truck and broke his neck
and died.
The waitress, noticing he had left his bag in the KFC, walked outside after
him with the bag of money. The Mafia all of a sudden gunned her down, and
they took the money. The Mafia then shot at the gas station to blow the town
up. Their plan, however, backfired. Not only did they blow up the town, but
themselves as well. The money hasn't been seen since.
The moral of the story is don't fire a gun when your right next to a gas
station after killing a waitress who has a million dollars in her hand because
a man named Billy Bob had stupidly forgotten it in a KFC. If you do this,
you will die.
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