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A long time ago in a land far, far away, there's was little place called
'Rappa'z D-lyte' (pronounced rappas deelight). 'Rappa'z D-lyte' is a magical
place where DJ's, Pimps, Prostitutes, Dealers, and, of course, Rappaz live.
Obviously, 'Rappa'z D-lyte' isn't where all these people do their business,
they go to New York to do that. Anyway, in 'Rappa'z D-lyte' there is a swell
lil' yungin named DJ DeLuXe. He's only 13 years old, but that's not young
for someone in 'Rappa'z D-lyte'. DJ DeLuXe is a struggling Disc Jockey. He
can also freestyle sorta well. One day, DeLuXe decides to go to his DJ sesai
for help in DJing because business hasn't been going to well for our little
hero.
So he hops on his moped and put-pudders away to Sesai's Pagoda. About three
hours later he finally makes it to Sensai's
"Ahhh I'm finally here" says DeLuXe as he steps of his moped and puts the
kickstand down. "Lets check to see what the Sensai has to sen-say!,
ah-hahahahahahahaha, whooo, that was a good one!!" he says as he steps up
the 400-step flight up to Sensai's front door. Three hours later he makes
it all the way to the top. "Ahh, made it" sighs DeLuXe. "Hey a note!" says
DeLuXe as he walks up to the yellow Post-It Note "Hmm what's it say?"
Gone for some yummy fried chicken, be back in 4 hours, 5 at the latest.
Peace,
§en§ai
"Four or five hours!?!?!?!?!" screams DeLuXe
DeLuXe, angered that Sensai left, starts cursing freestyle.....style. He
curses for like an hour, freestylin these swears until he starts rhyming
fuck and cheese. How do you rhyme fuck and cheese? I don't know but DeLuXe
did it...must be spanish or something....anyways after he's done cursing,
Sensai appears from the mist behind DeLuXe.
"Sensai...that was very magical...I laughed, I cried...you have reached your
freestyle demon called rection." says Sensai.
"erection?" questions the now giggling DeLuXe.
"No young one...you don't know the difference between an erection and rection.
Here is an erection." Sensai pulls down his pants as DeLuXe's eyes pop out.
"That is an erection." says Sensai. "a RECTION is located here." Sensai pokes
the area where DeLuXe's penis is located. "It is behind the bladder and above
the brain but below the rectum...You have to reach deep inside to reach your
inner rection."
DeLuXe pulls out a tickle-me elmo doll. "I now understand the truness and
obscene injustice of the rection..."
Sensai says: "Come with me son...come with on my motor water bed as you will
see the world as I have...you will see as many rections as I have" and then
he mutters "and erections..." Sensai hops on the bed (he is still naked)
and he ties the bed around DeLuXe's butt cheeks and makes him pull the bed.
The bed has no wheels or anything.
Sensai then says: "Only after you have seen your inner rection, you can comply
onto this journey to rappaz stardome. You will see the many pimps, prostitutes,
and playas I have...Only after---"
DeLuXe interrupts: "Why do I have to fuckin pull"
Sensai: "Don't interrupt young rection illitereate student, silence has now
befalled your mind, body, rection and erection" They travel as far as 'Playa'z
D-lyte' (now know as hawaii) without saying a word to each other. Sensai,
still naked, stares off into the sun, burning his iris in his eyes. Suddenly,
after going 4 months without saying a word, DeLuXe finally speaks. "Sensai...why
is a rection so important?"
Sensai: "Well, my sensai son, one must truly suck on the rection to get the
true ideas of what it is. I have sucked on my rection plenty of times and
extracted the juices of knowledge and expierience...infact my rection is
truly dried out..."
DeLuXe, holding back from laughing: "How do you suck on your own erection?"
Sensai: "Silly boy...sucking a dick is just nasty...I'm talking about a RECTION!
A RECTION GOD DAMNIT! Pull into the nearest KFC before my rection bursts
with anger." They pull into the nearest KFC only to realize that they are
early, infact, very early because the KFC branch hasn't even opened yet and
won't open for about 20 years. They decide to set up camp and party all night
long with other rappaz and playaz that they pick up. They freestyle the night
away. Thats when they meet Dlick Zuka, a rapper from the North-South side.
He was the quiet type, smoked marijuana a lot and ate at KFC even though
it hasn't opened yet. They all decide to embark on there journey to find
there rections. Sensai then hooks up the bed to Dlick Zucka's butt cheeks,
and lets DeLuXe ride on the bed with him, naked and admiring there rections.
They stop by the nearest 2dolla whore store and pick up a bunch of bitches.
DeLuXe, excited by picking up the bitches, then says: "we are gonna get laid
tonight!" Unfortunatley the whores didn't appreciate that and kicked DeLuXe's
ass and Sensai's ass and they both got fucked by Dlick Zuka. Deciding they
were fucked (well not really), they decide to embark on there journey with
out Dlick. They ride for days on there waterbed, viewing the worlds great
treasures. After being gone for 90 years, they come home to 'Rappa'z D-lyte'.
Unfortunatley the place has completely changed and it turned into a dork
hangout called "Harvard." They decide they'll live in cardboard boxes outside
the place.
One night, after a freezing day, DeLuXe asks his master: "Ok I thought I
was going to be the best damn DJ on this side of the planet after I found
my rection..."
Sensai sepnds 5 hours in deep thought then, finally, he answers the question:
"No, bitch, dishwasher" He kicks DeLuXe out of the box and DeLuXe was forced
to wander the streets. He heads to a bar and they ask him to freestyle on
stage, he does and becomes popular in exactly 12 minutes. Yeah, it's a world
record. You don't believe me? Read a dictionary...ok maybe it isn't but whatever.
He's more popular then you. Anyways, Sensai never dies and is still that
homeless bum outside of harvard talking about erections/rections and eating
KFC chicken on his crappy waterbed. DeLuXe became king of the world and freestyle
while he was trying to make world peace but he rhymed fuck and cheese and
no one liked that so the world got into a terrible fight and everyone died
except the person writing this story. Dlick Zuka was the gayest guy in this
story so who cares. And they all lived happily ever after.
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