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Bob the Muffin Eater
One day, a leaf named Leafy Bob fell from a tree, falling on a muffin. Suddenly,
the muffin...DISAPPEARED!!
The guy who was eating the muffin got mighty mad at the leaf for eating his
muffin. So, he ate the leaf. But, what the guy didn't know, was that Leafy
Bob was a magician!! Next thing the guy knew, Leafy Bob took over his body.
Leafy Bob led the body over to the local supermarket. (We can't say the name
of the company because then they'll want royalties on the money this story
will make. For the purpose of this story, it'll just be called Shplar)
Leafy Bob entered Shplar, screaming in a rageful manner, "Where's YOUR MUFFINS!?"
Then, the store manager, looking over to the guy, said "Oh, Mr. Wellington,
you own this store, you get muffins everyday. Oh well, they're right here."
The store manager leads him to "The AISLE OF MUFFINS..." (echo).
"Muffins!" screamed Leafy Bob. Leafy Bob ran down the aisle, like a vacuum
sucking up all the muffins.
"What THE FUCK!!" the store manager yelled. The store manager
never seen anyone do that, before.
A man was sitting down in The Muffin Eating Room. Leafy Bob ran in and stole
it (the muffin that is). The man cried, "oh! you stole my pecan blueberry
peach and rhubarb muffin! I spent like two fifty on that!" The man falls
down in a fetal position and cries.
Leafy Bob then says, while eating the muffin, "Don't cry, its a crappy muffin
anyway"
Leafy Bob laughed like a maniac, and ran out the window. "Mr. Wellington
is less crazy than usual, today..." whispered the store manager to a lady
cashier. "Oh, yes. I doubt anyone will care if we had hot sex in a mashed
potato bath and then put the mashed potatos back in the cans in the canned
mashed potato aisle" whispered the lady cashier to the store manager.
Anyway
"Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuufins!" screamed Leafy Bob. Leafy Bob crawled along the ground,
looking for muffins. he climbed all the way up a small hill, and looking
down he could see a one-of-a-kind sex park, with naked people chasing each
other, and porking each other. It was an STD garden, one might say. But being
a leaf as he was, Leafy Bob din't know what the hell was happening.
"Umm...muffins?" He looked at all the people, and when he looked to the left,
there were two people on top of each other, rolling toward him. They were
going to kill him!! Being a leaf as he was, he jumped off the hill, but being
a human right now, he just fell on a giant boulder, cracking all his ribs
on the left side into 15 pieces each.
"NYAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Leafy Bob screamed out in pain. Almost unconcious, he rolled
down the rest of the hill, after hitting the boulder, ending up in the STD
infested sand pit. And wouldn't you know? 3 people jumped on top of him,
getting it on.
Leafy Bob opened his eyes, seeing the people on top of him. He had to kill
them now, for trying to kill him...if they didn't give him muffins.
"Muffins?" Leafy Bob said, with a high voice, because they were on top of
him.
"Oh yeah, I got a muffin right here baby..." one of them said with a stupid
sounding oice, as they started French kissing Leafy Bob, one in the mouth,
and the other two in the ears.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Leafy Bob screamed like a silly little girl. He wanted
out.
Fortunately, when he screamed, the three people that were on top of him's
ear drums shattered and their brains started gushing out, instantly draining
their bodies of all their blood, and brains, killing them.
Leafy Bob got up and ran away. There were no muffins here.
Leafy Bob was in pain, lots of it. He had enough pain to fill buckets and
sell them! Which he was, for muffins. There was a big sign that said: "Buckets
of Pain, only one muffin." Unfortunately for Leafy Bob, people didn't use
muffins as currency, so Leafy Bob went to a friendly neighborhood on a street
called Muffin Road. There must be muffins there since it was named Muffin
Road.
Well, he found muffins. He ate them.
THE END
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